I have struggled with acne since I was about 10 years old. I remember being in the 5th grade, it was picture day, and my face was in the midst of its first breakout. I wasn't too aware of it at the time, I was a kid. It bothered my mother though and that's when I was hit with my first bit of shame I can remember. Instead of being taken to the store and down the magical teenage aisle, lined with all kinds of bottles and potions, I was taken straight to the makeup aisle. I get what my mom was trying to do, and I appreciate her misguided attempt at keeping me from teasing and embarrassment when I look back at my photos when I'm 26. I just hate that I was never taught how to manage acne instead of covering it up and being ashamed. It's something that has plagued me ever since. I never knew how to take care of it, I only knew really how to make it worse which caused its own set of problems over the years. By the time I hit high school my face was a full blown mess. Scars and bumps ever where. I was ashamed. I literally slept in my makeup because I didn't even want my parents to see, that's how ashamed I was. I would wake up every morning 2 hours before I had to catch the bus just so I could take the time to prepare myself for the day, just so I could look people in the eye. I don't know if anyone remembers Max Factor, but I used to use their full coverage foundation stick EVERYDAY. As I got older I started learning about how to control it. Sadly, I was left with severe scarring both outside and in.
Now, to my point. The thing that has always bothered me and kind of got me started on this blogging thing is the sheer lack of girls who face the same problem I do. How the hell can you work with our skin? I have seen quite a few YouTube videos of scar coverage/acne prone skin, but only a handful are anything even close to being relatable to me. Even the ones that are relatable either use high end products that I cant afford or use things that only make things worse. The worst ones are of girls who have a few tiny blemishes...psh I wish that's all I had to worry about. Makes me want to scream! Its taken me a long time to even be able to say "I have acne". In this day and age its so shameful to be anything less than perfect. The ones who do put themselves out there do get praised but also are so severely ridiculed it makes me sick. I have thought of doing a YouTube tutorial on my "system" that I have down and seems to be helping but its still a fragile topic for me and I am not sure if I can handle the nastiness of the Internet. I don't know, maybe someday here in the near future I'll just do it. We shall see. Until then I am going to wrap this up by saying that's something else I will be covering here in the near future. The constant battle between good vs acne (I really like that title for a post...don't judge me for re-using it). Just got to get all my stuff together for it.
Anyways, if you stuck through this entire rant, thank you. Hopefully this will reach someone who can relate. I know that's all I ever wanted. :D
Take care and much love,
Mallory
PS: on a totally unrelated topic...I GOT TICKETS TO THE RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE SEASON 6 FINALE HERE IN VEGAS!!!!!!!! I am a religious watcher of that show and am still in total complete shock that I am going! Now off to go try out some fiiiieeeerrrrce looks for the show!
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